Years ago, I was fortunate to coach my son’s baseball team through his high school years. Too often, parents hollered from the stands, “Don’t strike out!” I pictured the young player sensing the worst rather than feeling confident about his chances for a productive at bat. Imagine if these parents were encouraging him through positive talk: “You can do it!” or “I know you’ll get a hit.” This subtle difference can make all the difference in the psyche of a young athlete.
The same holds true in business. We have all heard the expression “words matter.” The use of language – words, tone and timing – shapes how the recipient of that message receives and responds. Great leaders know this and purposely choose words that get results.
The right selection of words can motivate, inspire, challenge, promote thinking, lead change, lower the temperature or set clear direction. The wrong words can discourage, demotivate and even create a culture of indifference. For example, “Just do what I say” stifles collaboration and reinforces a top-down style that does not encourage innovation. This is clearly not healthy for any company, especially if retention of talent and growth are the goals.
Winston Churchill once said, “We are masters of the unsaid words, but slaves of those we let slip out.” His point: Think before saying something that is unproductive. Pause. Learning the language of leadership takes knowhow, commitment and practice.
Let’s delve into a list of five phrases that you can use to raise the impact of your leadership. Your people will thank you – and your business will benefit.
1. Here’s Why
Two simple yet powerful words when combined. Running a business or leading groups requires a flow of decisions. Often, our people are not clear on the purpose of those decisions and the directions given to them. Leadership has evolved from the days of command and control – here is what you need to do and how – to providing the rationale and intent of that decision – the Why. In today’s environment, people expect to understand the perspective and rationale for decisions and direction. Doing so will garner greater buy-in toward the right action that leads to positive results.
2. How Do We…
This phrase shows positive intent (“How do”) and inclusivity (“we”). I encourage presenting problems and challenges with these opening words. Doing so will change how your people and teams view issues from the negative to a positive mindset – building the organizational culture you need. For example I suggest framing a common business challenge as: “How do we meet the client’s stated needs at the same time we keep profits steady?” or “How do we increase profits 10% this year while holding expenses steady?”
3. What Do You Think?
This simple phrase shows you value the person’s opinion, which is empowering (Keep in mind, this works if you trust the other person’s opinion and thought. If you don’t, this is simply a gratuitous phrase.). When you use this phrase, the person will leave feeling he or she made a difference – and that their voice matters. As we have learned from the study of employee satisfaction, engaging the opinion of the staff correlates to buy-in and motivation.
4. How Did You Do That?
Great companies embrace organizational learning. When an employee achieves a particular result, there is a reason for that outcome. Knowing what that person or team did specifically helps to reinforce those positive behaviors and actions. It also helps you carry forward that learning throughout the organization. Give the employee the opportunity to reflect on his or her positive actions and behaviors.
A variation of “How did you do that?” is “Here’s how…” This phrase is important to use with people taking a particular action that is new to them. Too often, the source of a person not doing what we expect is that he or she did not know the How.
5. Tell Me More
The highest form of active listening is asking follow-up questions or encouraging deeper dialogue. “Tell me more” or “Why did you do that?” is taking “How did you do that?” down a deeper path. We learn more by going deeper in our understanding, then skimming the surface. Peel back the layers to get to the root reason or actions that made a difference. Doing so builds organizational learning.
Abraham Lincoln said, “You can’t make people see what you don’t see, but you can make people see what you do see.” Lincoln was a master of using words to paint a picture and shape perspectives and influence understanding. He also worked hard to reduce the number of words to maximize impact. In just 272 words, he wrote and delivered the Gettysburg address. A key function of leadership is getting others to see your view through the effective use of words, which Lincoln did with great clarity.
All leaders have two functions in common: making decisions and communicating those decisions. Empowering people to make decisions when they are prepared to do so is a decision. Regardless of your level of leadership – executive, managerial and/or cross-functional – if we expect the best from people, then we need to communicate by choosing the right words and phrases – with the right tone – that gets the right response.
Although this article highlights five phrases, there are many more we can employ to shape the culture needed to move a company forward. For example, asking, “What does success look like?” helps to ensure alignment on the measurable end-result that you seek. Give these and other words and phrases a try. In short order you will see a difference in how your people respond, act and produce results.
