Inevitably, says sales coach and author Keith Rosen (KetihRosen.com), when he nears completion of a two-day training session, sales managers freeze up and exclaim, “Wait, you mean I’m actually going to be held accountable for coaching my team?”
“Like the bursting of a dam, more and more reasons and excuses for not being able to coach start to surface amongst the group. Others play it safe and say they’re committed but they just can’t start now,” Rosen says. The common denominator with each manager when discussing the reasons why coaching will not work: “My boss.”
Rosen says managers tell him something along the lines of, “Based on what I’ve learned, my boss is definitely not coaching me in a way that I find valuable, and I don’t think he’d be very supportive around this. Besides, at the end of the day, I’m evaluated based on whether or not I’m hitting my sales targets, not if I’m a great coach.”
“Regardless of your position, tenure or seniority, as a direct report at any level
on the organizational chart, it is your responsibility to not only ask your boss, or at the very least, your peers for coaching and support, but to also let them know how you would like to be coached, supported and managed,” Rosen says.
You can coach up! Rather than leaving it up to chance or waiting around until your manager gets a clue that he or she
is the person who needs to initiate these types of conversations, you can be the proactive one and enroll your manager
on establishing new boundaries and expectations. If you are waiting for your manager to change or take the initiative, you may be waiting a very long time; possibly your entire career, Rosen warns.
You can deliver your message in a more effective way regarding how you like to be coached, managed, held accountable, communicated to and supported. You
can also discuss certain tasks, projects, problems, people or commitments in a way that won’t put your boss on the defensive and instead, create a healthy platform for collaboration and discussion.
Change the conversation
It starts by changing the conversation. Rosen suggests approaching your manager and setting new expectations around how you work together and how you like to be managed without sounding like you’re whining or complaining. It would sound something like this:
“(Boss), I value your opinion and appreciate your willingness to coach me. I also realize you have different responsibilities and pressures placed upon you, and I really want to support you the way that you support me. In order for both of us to experience worthwhile results around coaching and hit our business objectives, it would be helpful for me to have a better understanding of your definition of coaching, as well as your expectations of me aside from my sales targets.
Would you be open to establishing some parameters around our coaching and what else I can do to ensure I’m meeting your expectations and that we’re collaborating as effectively as we can to achieve our goals?”
“Reality is created in language,” Rosen says. “The experiences we have, the relationships we create, are all based on how effectively we communicate with other people in every situation. If you want to align your values, integrity and passion with what you do every day, then it’s time to change the conversations you’re having with people, especially with your boss!”
