Sales is one of those careers that never really turns off. Deals don’t wait for your calendar to clear, and prospects don’t care if it’s your kid’s school play or bathtime. Add fatherhood into the mix, and you’ve got two jobs that demand everything from you all the time.
For years, I got it wrong. I lived out of a suitcase, flying two to four times a week and grinding through 16-hour days in hotel rooms. Then I’d come home at the weekend and swing the pendulum the other way – 100% on with the family and feeling guilty about Monday’s departure. It was unsustainable. I operated like that for a couple of years, half burned out, half zombie – and utterly useless to anyone.
The shift came when I realized looking after myself wasn’t selfish; it was essential. For me, that meant golf. A couple hours a week to switch off, recharge and clear my head. It sounds small, but it kept me from tipping over the edge. When leading a team and raising three young lads at home, your presence – mental, emotional and physical – matters more than your output.
The Changing Role of Dad
The conversation about work-life balance usually centers on women, and rightly so, given the weight of history. But fatherhood has evolved, too. Expectations are different now. We’re not the “see you at the weekend” generation of dads. We’re at the nursery graduations, recitals, football matches, etc.
I’ve worked in companies that get this and those that don’t. I’ve had bosses who couldn’t understand why a dad would leave early to watch his kid’s school play. And I’ve had leaders who valued fatherhood the way they valued motherhood: as part of being a whole person. My wife pressed pause on her career for nearly a decade to raise our kids, so I’ve made my share of career sacrifices, too. That’s the trade-off families make together.
The good news? I see more progress now than when my first son was born 12 years ago. Workplaces are slowly catching up to the fact that dads need the same permission to be present as mums have fought for decades.
Guilt, Grace and Growth
Here’s the truth: there’s always guilt. If you’re present at work, you wonder if you’re short-changing your family. If you’re present at home, you worry about the pipeline. It took me 18 months of really focusing on this to reach a better balance.
What helped was drawing firmer lines: family time is family time. It doesn’t always work (sales is still sales after all), but I’ve learned that too much of anything is bad. Too much work drains you, and too much family time without variety isn’t healthy either. The sweet spot is variance: giving your full self to each role when you’re in it and knowing when something can wait until Monday.
That lesson has made me a better leader. My team deserves the same presence as my kids do. I love the hustle and believe responsiveness is a salesperson’s best asset. But not everything is life or death. The skill is knowing when to jump and when to hold the line.
Lessons from Fatherhood
Being a dad makes you sharper at work in ways you don’t always expect. It teaches you empathy, yes, but also pragmatism, prioritization and foresight. You’re constantly scanning for risks your kids can’t see, spinning plates and building routines. That translates directly into sales leadership and anticipating what’s coming, whilst looking out for your team and making sure no one crashes.
I also lean on a Japanese proverb a former CEO once shared: “Every man has three faces – the one the world sees, the one his family sees, and the one only he knows. True contentment comes when those faces align.” For me, that alignment started when I stopped compartmentalizing work Nick, dad Nick, and husband Nick. Growth happens when you’re the same person in every room.
Redefining Success
In my twenties, success was all about the job title, the paycheck and the external proof points. That’s why I went into sales. It’s an elevator, if you’re willing to grind.
Now, success looks different. It’s raising three good young men. It’s a strong marriage built on us as a couple, not just as parents. It’s seeing the people I lead grow into leaders, buying the house they dreamed of, or finally affording the holiday they told me about on their first day. That’s success I can be proud of.
What Companies Can Do
If businesses want loyal, productive employees, they need to let fathers put family first, without penalty. Something as simple as rethinking paternity leave would make a huge difference. In the UK, it’s mostly paid for two weeks, then unpaid. When your family needs you most, you’re yanked back into work. That’s madness. Shared leave, flexible time and cultural permission for dads to step out for their kids are the changes that create healthier employees and workplaces.
Fatherhood doesn’t make you less ambitious. It just reframes the ambition points. For me, it’s not a choice between quota calls and bedtime stories. It’s about showing up where I’m needed most, in both worlds.
