Many managers like to cushion criticism with positive comments. When a criticism is prefaced by a positive comment and followed by one as well, psychologist and leadership consultant Markus Van Alphen calls it the “sandwich” technique, and he tells managers to never use it.
It makes the manager delivering the criticism feel better because he or she offered positive comments as well, but it usually leaves the recipient more confused than encouraged, Van Alphen says. Even if your opening compliment is about something totally unrelated, the best possible outcome is the recipient gets the feeling the compliment wasn’t well meant, only an excuse to deal them a blow.
Criticism can be so loud to a recipient, that he or she won’t even hear a compliment when they are spoken at the same time, adds Mark Merrill, founder and president of Family First, a nonprofit organization focused on strengthening families.
Merrill also says it’s important to praise exponentially more than criticize, citing Mark Twain’s quote, “I can live for two months on a good compliment.” For those who are more apt to criticize than compliment, Merrill suggests writing reminders to verbally compliment someone.
Another tip: Stock up on a unique color of Post-it Notes that are only used for leaving compliments on your team members’ desks.
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